I Have Cracked “Self-Love”
1st January 2020-The first day of the rest of my life!
Love makes the world go around. Agree? Or else we would be similar to robots or programmed bots. I have spent all my life and energy on loving others —parents, siblings, nieces, nephews, friends, husband, kids, grandchildren. I have always sought for outside affirmations to determine my sense of worth. So here is how I Have Cracked “Self-Love”
Let me share that I suffer from Chronic depression (clinical-postpartum depression) and I battle it alone for 16 years now. (tapered down the medications as well, this year after 25 years) I did go off the edge once but I was saved from falling by my guardian angel-Moushmi. Since then, I have decided to be a listener to anyone who needs a patient ear. Just give me a shout out and trust me, I will be there for you; just reach out, talk, never hold back.
Actually, I am a recovering, people-pleaser who persistently puts the needs and wants of others before my own. It took me 5 decades to learn how to love myself. On 1st Jan 2020, I decided to gift myself- I gifted Self-love.
List Out Your Priorities
Writing things down gives you accountability and will induce you to follow them through. You can tick off the points achieved. Yes, I have actually put up a list of 20 positives for the year on my mirror; I read them every day and have achieved nearly all of them.
I used to think self-love means being selfish. But now I realize that it is fine to put myself first and not judge myself too much.
When people around me commit mistakes, I forgive them easily, but when I do, I feel ridden with guilt and I am always tough on myself. It is alright to make mistakes as we learn from them, isn’t it?
I Have Cracked “Self-Love”
In the process of spreading love, I realised that I lacked love for myself. Supposing I want to receive love and respect, then I better start by loving and respecting myself first.
When you are single, you cannot rely on others for love. Given that you love yourself you need not depend on others to be content. Those around me can show sympathy but can never quite experience life, as I did.
Self-love means loving yourself totally-body, mind, heart and soul. I have now understood that self-love is likely to put off anxiety or depression. Learning to love me has reduced my stress levels.
Happiness is not just being surrounded by my kids and grandsons……If I love myself and I am cheerful, I would be able to pass on that love to others.
I Have Cracked “Self-Love” by Loving Myself- Mind, Body and Soul!
If you start loving your body and mind you will eat healthily, indulge your belly, and fry those favourite papads without skimping on the oil that would be used.
I used to ignore my diet, went without food as I didn’t want to cook for myself. This has changed this year. I have started indulging my palate to my favourite foods. Just cook and eat them.
I pat myself on my back for a job well done by getting a massage or just go for a long drive by myself ignoring the monies spent on the gas.
My bedrock was not built on self-love but rather, self-neglect, tolerating abuse or disregard from others. This lack of self-love fashioned an escalation in humiliation, toxicity and fatigue.
Yoga and Meditation Helped me Introspect
Practising yoga and meditation daily have made me be receptive with every inhale of my breath and letting that moment pass by just as freely while exhaling.
Pranayama and yoga is a reflection of self-love and acceptance of one’s self. It has quietened my mind and has helped me introspect-look deep within.
It has helped me to clean my mental slate and has been my reset button to shift my mindset and my perspective. Now, I focus on the good rather than the negative. Truly thankful for what I have, rather than what I perceive to be lacking.
I have acquired my mojo and sniffed out my Ikigai (Ikigai is the combination of four fundamental elements of life: passion, vocation, profession and mission. In simpler terms, where; what I love meets what I am good at, meets what I can be valued and paid for meets that which the world needs)
I raised my opinion of myself with the premise that I raised my value and the value of every single thing in my life. Mind you, this doesn’t mean I have become narcissistic or I will love others less. I know that I have flaws and I am not perfect.
I now bask in the spunky sparkle that is ME.
What I did to get there-
- Saying positive thoughts to myself
- Forgiving myself when I mess up
- Being assertive
- Not letting others take advantage of or abuse me
- Prioritizing my health and well being
- Spending time around people who support and build me up
- Asking for help
- Let go of grudges or anger
- Challenge me
- Hold myself accountable
- Gifting myself healthy treats
- Accepted my imperfections
- Setting realistic expectations
- Recognizing my strengths
- Valuing my feelings
- Making healthy choices
- Living in accordance with my values
- Pursuing my interests and goals
On a positive note do check out The Woman That I am..Rainbow Colours of My Life