Indian Guest Etiquette from Namaste to Nightmare

The Good, the Bad & the Overstaying: Indian Guest Etiquette from Namaste to Nightmare

Indian Guest Etiquette from Namaste to Nightmare could easily be our unofficial national census. Every desi household has hosted the entire range-from halo-wearing saints who restore your faith in “Atithi Devo Bhava” to freeloading phantoms who make you question whether it’s time to install an electric gate.

As a proud South Indian Sardarni, I’ve seen it all. From filter-coffee-polished perfection to paranthas with Punjabi drama, our guests are walking sitcoms. Some stay long enough to get an Aadhaar card, others leave before the chai cools. So let’s break it down-the good, the bad, and the ones who come for chai but stay till next Sunday.

🌸 The Good: Guests Who Deserve a Second Invite

Ah, the rare species that remind you why humanity still has hope! These guests glide in with good vibes and glide out before your tea kettle groans again.

• Guests who take off both shoes and ego at the door-five-star sanskaar!
• Those who bring filter coffee powder, not fancy wine-certified South Indian royalty.
• The aunty who folds her bedsheet before leaving-Moksha achieved; her soul’s ascending with Tide jasmine fragrance.
• They actually text before visiting -Revolutionary behaviour.
• The one who says, “I’ll help with the dishes,” and actually does-National award nominee.
• Guests who bring their own towel- angels disguised as humans.
• Those who laugh loudly, eat well, and leave early are our emotional support visitors.
• The uncle who leaves right after chai- national treasure, eligible for Bharat Ratna.
• The ones who say, “Don’t cook specially for us,” but still eat with gratitude-legends.
• Guests who come bearing gifts, not germs or gossip-VIP entry to your heart.

They don’t touch your fridge, they don’t invade your Netflix, and they leave behind smiles instead of laundry. South India would call them “divine beings.” North India would call them “unbelievable.” Either way, these are the guests you want on your contact list forever.

😈 The Bad: Guests Who Test Your Sanskaar

And then come the desi drama squads—the ones who think every home they enter automatically turns into a Bigg Boss house.

• The fridge raiders, opening every shelf like they’re on a treasure hunt.
• The ones who ask, “You didn’t make non-veg?” while staring at your veg thali-Beta, this is my kitchen, not a restaurant!
• The aunty who greets you with, “Arey, you’ve put on weight!”-and your mood deflates like yesterday’s poori.
• Guests who compare your 3BHK to their cousin’s bungalow in Banjara Hills-Interior Design critics on unpaid internships.
• The uncle who performs open-heart surgery on your TV remote—“Batteries weak hain, beta.” Sir, so is my will to host.
• Those who treat your sofa like a government bench-snoring, sprawling, and marking territory. ( Like my dog-Vodka!)
• Kids who treat your living room like a cricket pitch while parents say, “They’re just naughty.” Naughty? Madam, they’re future demolition experts!
• Guests who start political debates after dessert-emotional indigestion guaranteed.
• The instant content creators—everything’s a reel, including your chutney.
• The ones who arrive empty-handed but leave with your Tupperware. Karma is watching, ji. And so is your missing lid.

Even Buddha would lose patience. But we smile through the storm, pour another cup of chai, and silently chant: “Bas karo, yaar.”

⏳ The Overstaying: Guests Who Arrived via Time Machine and Forgot the Return Date

Then there are the VIPs of chaos-the Overstayers, who turn short visits into spiritual residencies. Their motto? Bas kal nikal rahe hain. Spoiler: kal kabhi nahi aata.

• Came for chai, stayed till next chai time.
• “We’ll leave after breakfast.” Four breakfasts later, still here.
• “Ek aur function hai in town.” And apparently, in your house too.
• They use your Wi-Fi like it’s government property.
• They do laundry in your washing machine and leave detergent behind like a territorial flag.
• They nap mid-conversation; congratulations, they now qualify for your address proof.
• “Traffic tha” is their go-to excuse for not leaving your home, your city, or your life.
• They use your toothpaste, your towel, your Netflix, and saccharine sweetly say- “So homely here!”
• They leave behind empty milk packets, full dustbins, and deep emotional trauma.

And when they finally say, “We’ll visit again soon,” you start googling: “How to fake relocation to another city.”

💃 The South Indian Sardarni Verdict

Growing up in the South, punctuality and politeness were sacred. Guests arrived on time, ate on banana leaves, said “Parvaledu,” and left before the rasam cooled.

Then came my North Indian relatives—louder, warmer, and eternally late. If the invite says 7, baraat mentality says 10. The South gives you filter kaapi precision; the North gives you full-on paranthe wala drama.

Now, I’ve learnt to blend both-kaapi meets lassi, dosai meets drama. I keep extra towels, extra patience, and a spare excuse ready: “Koi gal nahi, next time pakka!”

Guests-good, bad, and overstaying-are part of our desi DNA. They bring chaos, colour, and stories worth retelling over another round of chai.

So yes, keep the good ones close, the bad ones brief, and the overstaying ones strictly on WhatsApp.

🧳 Final Thought

Hospitality runs in our blood, but the trauma of the Overstaying Guest runs through our Wi-Fi speed and the last roll of toilet paper.

Be kind, be funny, and always keep a “Guest Survival Kit” ready:
👉 one packet of biskuts,
👉 a lock for the liquor cabinet,
👉 and a fake flight itinerary.

Because in the land of Atithi Devo Bhava, some Atithis need a gentle reminder- Devo also have a checkout time.

Disclaimer: Purely for laughs, doston! No guests were harmed – just gently roasted with love and humour. ☕😉If you saw yourself in here, it’s time to bring better gifts next visit. 😜