The Good, the Bad & the Overstaying: Indian Guest Etiquette from Namaste to Nightmare
Indian Guest Etiquette from Namaste to Nightmare could easily be our unofficial national census. Every desi household has hosted the entire range-from halo-wearing saints who restore your faith in “Atithi Devo Bhava” to freeloading phantoms who make you question whether it’s time to install an electric gate.
As a proud South Indian Sardarni, I’ve seen it all. From filter-coffee-polished perfection to paranthas with Punjabi drama, our guests are walking sitcoms. Some stay long enough to get an Aadhaar card, others leave before the chai cools. So let’s break it down-the good, the bad, and the ones who come for chai but stay till next Sunday.
🌸 The Good: Guests Who Deserve a Second Invite
Ah, the rare species that remind you why humanity still has hope! These guests glide in with good vibes and glide out before your tea kettle groans again.
- Guests who take off both shoes and ego at the door-five-star sanskaar!
- Those who bring filter coffee powder, not fancy wine-certified South Indian royalty.
- The aunty who folds her bedsheet before leaving-Moksha achieved; her soul’s ascending with Tide jasmine fragrance.
- They actually text before visiting -Revolutionary behaviour.
- The one who says, “I’ll help with the dishes,” and actually does-National award nominee.
- Guests who bring their own towel- angels disguised as humans.
- Those who laugh loudly, eat well, and leave early are our emotional support visitors.
- The uncle who leaves right after chai- national treasure, eligible for Bharat Ratna.
- The ones who say, “Don’t cook specially for us,” but still eat with gratitude-legends.
- Guests who come bearing gifts, not germs or gossip-VIP entry to your heart.
They don’t touch your fridge, they don’t invade your Netflix, and they leave behind smiles instead of laundry. South India would call them “divine beings.” North India would call them “unbelievable.” Either way, these are the guests you want on your contact list forever.
😈 The Bad: Guests Who Test Your Sanskaar
And then come the desi drama squads—the ones who think every home they enter automatically turns into a Bigg Boss house.
- The fridge raiders, opening every shelf like they’re on a treasure hunt.
- The ones who ask, “You didn’t make non-veg?” while staring at your veg thali-Beta, this is my kitchen, not a restaurant!
- The aunty who greets you with, “Arey, you’ve put on weight!”-and your mood deflates like yesterday’s poori.
- Guests who compare your 3BHK to their cousin’s bungalow in Banjara Hills-Interior Design critics on unpaid internships.
- The uncle who performs open-heart surgery on your TV remote—“Batteries weak hain, beta.” Sir, so is my will to host.
- Those who treat your sofa like a government bench-snoring, sprawling, and marking territory. ( Like my dog-Vodka!)
- Kids who treat your living room like a cricket pitch while parents say, “They’re just naughty.” Naughty? Madam, they’re future demolition experts!
- Guests who start political debates after dessert-emotional indigestion guaranteed.
- The instant content creators—everything’s a reel, including your chutney.
- The ones who arrive empty-handed but leave with your Tupperware. Karma is watching, ji. And so is your missing lid.
Even Buddha would lose patience. But we smile through the storm, pour another cup of chai, and silently chant: “Bas karo, yaar.”
⏳ The Overstaying: Guests Who Arrived via Time Machine and Forgot the Return Date
Then there are the VIPs of chaos-the Overstayers, who turn short visits into spiritual residencies. Their motto? Bas kal nikal rahe hain. Spoiler: kal kabhi nahi aata.
- Came for chai, stayed till next chai time.
- “We’ll leave after breakfast.” Four breakfasts later, still here.
- “Ek aur function hai in town.” And apparently, in your house too.
- They use your Wi-Fi like it’s government property.
- They do laundry in your washing machine and leave detergent behind like a territorial flag.
- They nap mid-conversation; congratulations, they now qualify for your address proof.
- “Traffic tha” is their go-to excuse for not leaving your home, your city, or your life.
- They use your toothpaste, your towel, your Netflix, and saccharine sweetly say- “So homely here!”
- They leave behind empty milk packets, full dustbins, and deep emotional trauma.
And when they finally say, “We’ll visit again soon,” you start googling: “How to fake relocation to another city.”
💃 The South Indian Sardarni Verdict
Growing up in the South, punctuality and politeness were sacred. Guests arrived on time, ate on banana leaves, said “Parvaledu,” and left before the rasam cooled.
Then came my North Indian relatives—louder, warmer, and eternally late. If the invite says 7, baraat mentality says 10. The South gives you filter kaapi precision; the North gives you full-on paranthe wala drama.
Now, I’ve learnt to blend both-kaapi meets lassi, dosai meets drama. I keep extra towels, extra patience, and a spare excuse ready: “Koi gal nahi, next time pakka!”
Guests-good, bad, and overstaying-are part of our desi DNA. They bring chaos, colour, and stories worth retelling over another round of chai.
So yes, keep the good ones close, the bad ones brief, and the overstaying ones strictly on WhatsApp.
🧳 Final Thought
Hospitality runs in our blood, but the trauma of the Overstaying Guest runs through our Wi-Fi speed and the last roll of toilet paper.
Be kind, be funny, and always keep a “Guest Survival Kit” ready:
👉 one packet of biskuts,
👉 a lock for the liquor cabinet,
👉 and a fake flight itinerary.
Because in the land of Atithi Devo Bhava, some Atithis need a gentle reminder- Devo also have a checkout time.
Disclaimer: Purely for laughs, doston! No guests were harmed – just gently roasted with love and humour. ☕😉If you saw yourself in here, it’s time to bring better gifts next visit. 😜
This post is a part of Blogchatter Half Marathon 2025
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@wordsmithkaur
@wordsmithkaur
ha ha ha! Laughed right thru this one! House guests are now sooo rare that even reading that someone has them made me full nostalgic.
Hahahah –what a laugh riot Harjeet.
It is true guests can be like devtas aur danav both , you have explored both opposites comprehensively with your witty banter.
I have had guests with special food choices – only cow milk for us, Bed tea please , No rice etc etc if guests are staying for a day or two it is easier to grin and bear but God help if they plan to stay for a fortnight.
Once we had a guest who was staying for a 10 day workshop but he had a fractured arm , so his orders were clear – at least 250 grams of Salt every day with hot water for fomentation , fresh salt every day. 500 gms of paneer daily to help heal the bone and because he needed fresh clothes everyday and could not wash , we had to clean his clothes including his underwear too.He was also quick to point out any shortcomings like today the sabzi has less salt.
We breathed a sigh of relief when he finally went back.
I laughed so hard reading this because the title perfectly describes some of the family gatherings I have been to. I could totally relate to the part about guests overstaying their welcome; we are taught that “Guest is God,” but some people really test that patience! It is so true how the vibe can switch from a warm welcome to just secretly waiting for them to leave. I really liked how you highlighted the need for basic boundaries even while keeping our traditions alive.
I was laughing hard throughout my read. Remember the film, Atithi Tum Kab Jaoge? It was an exact portrayal of the same scenario.
Insightful and real. This is the kind of read that makes you pause, chuckle, and maybe rethink the next time you try to win guest etiquette brownie-points
Excellent read, Harjeet! I laughed my way through reading this! I have had ALL these guests. One came to the city for his ‘passport renewal’ appointment and stayed on for 5 days!
I am going to share this post with all my ‘guests’
I am really weird and different. I clearly say you are welcome happily and will get best treatment and care from me when you come after letting me know. I dont like surprise guest at all and if you come like one I may not treat you the way your desire as I may be busy and cant be available for gala treat.
so hilarious! Devo does have a nap time, as we see in temples and other sacred spaces! I wish people stayed for a limited time only, and North India takes pride in being late.
Haha, so spot on and totally relatable. I love how you’ve captured the full spectrum of guest-behaviour. From the ideal “chai-and-help-with-dishes” types to the classic “arrived-for-chai-and-never-left” overstayers. Thanks for making me laugh and nod in recognition at the same time.
I laughed so much while reading this post. This post perfectly captures the comedy, chaos, and cultural contradictions of Indian guest etiquette. From heavenly guests who fold bedsheets to energy-draining overstayers who behave like they’re applying for permanent residency, every category feels hilariously true. What I love most is the South Indian Sardarni lens—filter coffee meets Punjabi drama is peak desi relatability. The humor is warm, observational, and dipped in just enough sarcasm to hurt no one but entertain everyone. It’s a reminder that hospitality is our superpower, but healthy boundaries are survival. A delightful roast of guests we love… and the ones we pray don’t return!
Seriously. Also we have had guests who said they’ll come today but didn’t mention when—so we had to keep every meal ready, just in case, and ultimately they came at 9pm! In India, hospitality in the name of thithi is taken full advantage of. I don’t think anyone has been able to escape from its menacing clutches.
Haha!! absolutely loved the subtle categorization! I loved the turning house into bigg boss part definitely know these kind of people!
Haha..I enjoyed this and was in your drawing room as you regaled the various guests. It was that real