Indian Guest Etiquette from Namaste to Nightmare

The Good, the Bad & the Overstaying: Indian Guest Etiquette from Namaste to Nightmare

Indian Guest Etiquette from Namaste to Nightmare could easily be our unofficial national census. Every Indian household has experienced the full range, from saints who make hosting a joy to borderline squatters who make you question whether “Atithi Devo Bhava” is still legally binding in a post-modern world.

The Good: Guests Who Deserve a Second Invite 😇

They come, they sip, they smile, and they actually leave on time! These are the unicorns of Indian hospitality, the ones who restore your faith in the human race.

• Guests who take off their shoes and their ego at the door.
• The ones who bring filter coffee powder, not fancy wine, are pure South Indian class.
• They compliment your sambhar before reaching for salt. Instant approval!
• The auntie who folds her bedsheet before leaving-she’s achieved instant Moksha. Her soul is already ascending, leaving behind a crisp cotton path.
• Guests who text before coming- a modern miracle we didn’t know we needed.
• The one who says, “I’ll help with the dishes,” and actually does is Bharat Ratna material.

• Those who bring their own towel-angels in disguise.
• Guests who stay short, laugh loud, and leave you smiling are a rare species, usually sighted only during Pongal or Baisakhi.
• The uncle who leaves right after chai is; national treasure. Guests who offer to pay for the Uber back to their house? They deserve a national salute.
• Those who say “Don’t cook specially for us”-but still eat with gratitude. Legends.
• They come with gifts, leave with hugs, and never open the fridge. Seriously, the lock remains untampered. God bless them and their parental units.

The Bad: Guests Who Test Your Sanskaar 😈

Then come the drama kings and queens—the ones who turn your home into a live episode of Bigg Boss: Guest Edition.

• The fridge raiders-opening every shelf like it’s a treasure hunt.
• Those who ask, “You didn’t make non-veg?” while staring at your veg thali-it’s not a question; it’s an intervention.
• The auntie who says, “Arey, you’ve put on weight!” before saying hello; Kya sanskaar, kya timing.
• Guests who compare your home to their cousin’s bungalow in Gurgaon-unsolicited interior design critics!
• The uncle who performs open-heart surgery on your TV remote, trying to make it work, and then declares, “Your batteries are weak, beta,” while his own house runs on solar power and good karma.
• The ones who treat your sofa like a bus seat-sprawling, snoring, and marking territory.
• Those who bring kids and then say, “They’re very naughty these days.” Understatement of the century.
• Guests who start political debates after dessert-and end them never.
• The “instant content creators”-everything is a reel, including your chutney.
• Those who come empty-handed but leave with your Tupperware- Karma is watching, ji. And the Tupperware is watching you from the backseat like a hostage.
• South India taught me patience, but some of these guests test even Buddha-level calm. You just smile, serve another round of masala Chai, and whisper internally-“Bas karo yaar!”

The Overstaying: Guests Who Arrived via Time Machine and Forgot the Return Date ⏳

And finally, the legends. The ones who stretch a chai visit into a weekend retreat. Their motto? “Bas kal nikal rahe hain.” Spoiler: they’re not.

• Came for chai, stayed till next chai time.
• Guests who say, “We’ll leave after breakfast.” Four breakfasts later, still here.
• The uncle who extends his stay with “One more function in town.”
• Those who make your Wi-Fi their permanent address.
• Guests who do laundry in your washing machine like it’s an Airbnb perk, leaving behind their detergent bottle as a cryptic sign of permanent tenancy.
• The ones who nap mid-conversation on the dining table—permanent residents now, eligible for a shared utility bill.
• “Traffic tha”—their one-size-fits-all excuse for every delay, including leaving your house.
• They use your toothpaste, your towel, and your Netflix-and say, “So homely here!”
• Those who leave you with empty milk packets, full dustbins, and emotional damage.
• And the grand finale: “We’ll visit again soon.” Threat level – Nuclear Winter. You immediately start checking property values in a different city.

💃 The South Indian Sardarni Verdict

Growing up in the South, punctuality and politeness were sacred. Guests arrived on time, ate on banana leaves, said “parvaledu” and left before the rasam cooled.

Then came the North Indian relatives—louder, warmer, and infinitely later. If the invite says 7, North Indian baraat mentality says 10!

Now, I’ve learned to blend both worlds-the South’s discipline and the North’s drama. I keep extra towels, extra patience, and a spare excuse ready: “Koi gal nahi!”

Whether it’s kaapi or chai, dosai or parantha, our guests bring chaos and charm in equal measure.

So yes, keep the good ones close, the bad ones brief, and the overstaying ones connected only on WhatsApp.

Final Thought:

Hospitality runs in our blood, but the trauma of the Overstaying Guest runs through our Wi-Fi speed and our last surviving roll of toilet paper.

Be kind, be funny, and always keep a ‘Guest Survival Kit’ ready: an extra packet of biskuts, a lock for the liquor cabinet, and a fake flight itinerary for them.