Project 2020 “Self-Love” And How to Cultivate It Yourself
My 2nd Post for #MyFriendAlexa2020
“I’m taking my blog to the next level with Blogchatter’s My Friend Alexa” via Blogchatter
1st January 2020-The first day of the rest of my life!
Love makes the world go around. Agree? Or else we would be similar to robots or programmed bots. I have spent all my life and energy on loving others —parents, siblings, nieces, nephews, friends, husband, kids, grandchildren. I have always sought for outside affirmations to determine my sense of worth. So here is my Project 2020 “Self-Love”
Let me share that I suffer from Chronic depression (clinical-postpartum depression) and I battle it alone for 16 years now. (tapered down the medications as well, this year after 25 years) I did go off the edge once but I was saved from falling by my guardian angel-Moushmi. Since then, I have decided to be a listener to anyone who needs a patient ear. Just give me a shout out and trust me, I will be there for you; just reach out, talk, never hold back.
Actually, I am a recovering, people-pleaser who persistently puts the needs and wants of others before my own. It took me 5 decades to learn how to love myself. On 1st Jan 2020, I decided to gift myself- I gifted Self-love.
List Out Your Priorities
Writing things down gives you accountability and will urge you to follow them through. You can tick off the points achieved. Yes, I have actually put up a list of 20 positives for the year on my mirror; I read them every day and have achieved nearly all of them.
I used to think self-love means being selfish. But now I realize that it is fine to put myself first and not judge myself too much.
When people around me commit mistakes, I forgive them easily, but when I do, I feel ridden with guilt and I am always tough on myself. It is alright to make mistakes as we learn from them, isn’t it?
Project 2020 “Self-Love”
In the process of spreading love, I realised that I lacked love for myself. Supposing I want to receive love and respect, then I better start by loving and respecting myself first.
When you are single, you cannot rely on others for love. Given that you love yourself you need not depend on others to be content. Those around me can show sympathy but can never quite experience life, as I did.
Self-love means loving yourself totally-body, mind, heart and soul. I have now understood that self-love is likely to put off anxiety or depression. Learning to love me has reduced my stress levels.
Happiness is not just being surrounded by my kids and grandsons……If I love myself and I am cheerful, I would be able to pass on that love to others.
Project 2020 “Self-Love” by Loving Myself- Mind, Body and Soul!
If you start loving your body and mind you will eat healthily, indulge your belly, and fry those favourite papads without skimping on the oil that would be used.
I used to ignore my diet, went without food as I didn’t want to cook for myself. This has changed this year. I have started indulging my palate to my favourite foods. Just cook and eat them.
I pat myself on my back for a job well done by getting a massage or just go for a long drive by myself ignoring the monies spent on the gas.
My bedrock was not built on self-love but rather, self-neglect, tolerating abuse or disregard from others. This lack of self-love fashioned an escalation in humiliation, toxicity and fatigue.
Yoga and Meditation Helped me Introspect
Practising yoga and meditation daily have made me be receptive with every inhale of my breath and letting that moment pass by just as freely while exhaling.
Pranayama and yoga is a reflection of self-love and acceptance of one’s self. It has quietened my mind and has helped me introspect-look deep within.
It has helped me to clean my mental slate and has been my reset button to shift my mindset and my perspective. Now, I focus on the good rather than the negative. Truly thankful for what I have, rather than what I perceive to be lacking.
I have acquired my mojo and sniffed out my Ikigai ( Thank you @Blogchatter.Ikigai is the combination of four fundamental elements of life: passion, vocation, profession and mission. In simpler terms, where; what I love meets what I am good at, meets what I can be valued and paid for meets that which the world needs)
I raised my opinion of myself with the premise that I raised my value and the value of every single thing in my life. Mind you, this doesn’t mean I have become narcissistic or I will love others less. I know that I have flaws and I am not perfect.
I now bask in the spunky sparkle that is ME.
What I did to get there-
- Saying positive thoughts to myself
- Forgiving myself when I mess up
- Being assertive
- Not letting others take advantage of or abuse me
- Prioritizing my health and well being
- Spending time around people who support and build me up
- Asking for help
- Let go of grudges or anger
- Challenge me
- Hold myself accountable
- Gifting myself healthy treats
- Accepted my imperfections
- Setting realistic expectations
- Recognizing my strengths
- Valuing my feelings
- Making healthy choices
- Living in accordance with my values
- Pursuing my interests and goals
Can you relate to my Project 2020 “Self-Love”? Does it make any sense? Please share your thoughts.
On a positive note do check out The Woman That I am..Rainbow Colours of My Life,
This month is all about lifestyle changes and holistic living. Check out my previous Alexa posts- Hair Oil Recipe for Hair Loss and Natural Organic Hair colour.
@wordsmithkaur
@wordsmithkaur
Written from the heart. Very descriptive truthful and useful. Most apt in these times of overall depression and lows. A must read . Helps us see across the horizon.
Thank you for stopping by Rajiv. Yes, it did flow straight from my heart. Its high time I came to this realisation.
Its an interestingly written article.Self love is not a sin but a much required neccesity to survive in this world. The writer has given some real life situations to justify her point of view. In the present days, when people , especially youth are very critical about themselves and are taking the extreme step of taking their lives because they couldn’t accept themselves, this article comes as a respite. With easy flowing style, Harjeet Kaur has presented her view point in lucid terms
Thank you so much Sir..means a lot to me..Thank you for your appreciation and for gracing my blog.
It might’ve taken time but I’m glad that you’re finally giving yourself the love and attention you deserve. Recovering from depression would be extremely easy when you’re self-assured and know that you’re complete on your own. Kudos to you for taking on this project!
Thanks Varsha..it has taken me almost 6 decades to do this 🙂 better late than never isn’t it?
Loved the post dear and I agreed self love does not mean being selfish. It is very important to feel good about ourselves first if we want to serve others . Looking forward for next post.
Self-love is so so important for our overall health and happy living. I understand, fighting depression and coming out of it must have been a process with many twists and turns but you finally made it. Kudos to you!!
Fantastic post, Harjeet! Loved the way you have turned around our way of looking at 2020. Also, loved your point about letting go in order that one gets mental peace. Its easy to say but took me a long time to practice. I must say that once I did let go and practiced being mindful, I turned into a happier person. Thank you for writing such an amazing post! Keep writing.
I agree, positive self image can be created only if you love yourself and accept the way you are and how you are. And this can give you positive outcome as people will see you for who you are. Just loved your post.
I do believe that this time has tortoise measure of things from self-love to making things more on place with connecting your loved ones and all this with patients
You have written an excellent post. Especially women forget an essential part of living that is self-love. Your post is motivating and your story is inspiring.
wow this is quite a self motivating inspirational post. I’m sure many of us would benefit from this. but its great you have learnt to love yourself. better late than never. more power to you woman!
I just love the title of your blogpost. We need to consciously practice self love that will prove helpful in living a heathy life
I simply loved reading your post. Too often we get lost in the roles we are supposed to play, we forget who we are as a person. It’s time we indulged ourselves and our souls
Cultivated in an old setup, we usually term self-care and love as selfishness!! It was a task for me too, to understand and reason out with my brain and head for giving self a priority. A wonderful post, and right time to read it too.
Warm hug Harjeet ji. It takes courage to accept your feelings, inner fears and deciding to fight for self. Fighting depression is an uphill battle and glad you found a pair of listening ears. What’s even better? You coming up, rising up to help others with posts like this. Our posts on the blog are just a minuscule capsule of life, so I imagine that you are helping people around you with this new found love and acceptance. Your pointers on realization are so on point.
Self love strangely is the most difficult one to practice ! We become the biggest obstacle in our growth .I am glad that you chose to share your journey with us and inspired us .Thanks !
Self love is the key to inner peace. I learnt it the hard way but I am so glad I learnt how to love myself over the time. It’s changed my life and how I look at different situations that come my way. I really loved your take on SELF LOVE.
We must make kids learn about self love since childhood, it doesn’t come suddenly one day. Taking care of others is important but Taking care of self is equally important.
This is great article .article.Self love is not a a much required neccesity to survive in this world. Learning to love yourself often reduce stress levels.
Harjeet – hugs! It is amazing the journey you have been on, and thank you for so honestly sharing the tools you are using to love yourself and build a life of happiness and contentment.
we all need a reminder that we need to love ourselves.
i am so glad you found your ikigai – i am glad you have found joy in what you do with your day 🙂
This is an exhaustive list of tips Harjeet ji and coming from you means surely they are your tried and tested ones. I would love to incorporate more of self love on that note by following some of the tips mentioned here.
2020 has surely made us realise many things and the most important one is Self-Love. Good to see you are giving priority to self and seeing excellent results.
Your journey of reaching self-love by fighting depression & finding your true calling, is quite inspiring, Harjeet. The pointers that you have shared are quite interesting & helpful, things we all should try. Thanks for this reminder. More power to you!
Loving ourselves is definitely the best we can give to our self. How wonderful to started giving priority to your health.
I am glad to hear about your project- I have been trying it out too since a couple of years..there are moments when I feel guilty- selfish-for making myself a priority but I am trying. Good to know you cook for yourself. Please make your fav dishes and indulge yoursel 🙂
Loved this article! Most women put the interest of the family before self. You made me think again on this theory.
Thanks for being the motivational force:)
Wow Harjeetji, tussi te tope ho! It’s so good to hear that you changed these things and be more happier. Of all the points you’ve mentioned, I feel giving attention to physical and mental being will do a whole world of good. And also food like caramelised Makhana 😋
Thanks Atul.Kahaan ke tope ji..hum to mango people hain 🙂 Makhana and that to caramel..so u have a sweet tooth?
I don’t know why we make self-love such a big deal! Why women are always guilty of putting their needs above others. This is such a helpful read. It motivates and encourages a thousand out there who want to take time out, but aren’t putting their needs above others.
Thanks Vaishali..I belong, to the old era..was taught only how to give at least I realised now.
I am so glad that you have reclaimed your love for yourself. This is a very inspiring post. Here’s to loving ourselves a little more every day 🙂
Thank you Shweta..better late than never 🙂
So many things for you to celebrate. It’s wonderful to see how you have looked at things in such a positive manner.
Thanks, Parul..its been a tough life finally understood how to live it.
What a beautiful post and goal to have for 2020 – and the rest of your life. That dialogue from Avengers Endgame is really wise: everyone fails who they’re supposed to be. More power to you!
Such a beautiful post. Self love is most important. An empty vessel can never serve others. Only if we are happy, we can love others. Hope now that 2020 is towards end you were successful in this project. Yoga and meditation have helped me heal too