10 Best and Worst Things to Say to Someone With Depression
Mental health patients are looked at weirdly. I suffer from clinical depression and consider it just as any physical ailment. There is so much ambiguity around mental health. People don’t relate to it as an illness but treat it as some peculiar, mysterious state of mind. When someone meets a mental health patient they don’t know what to say and not to say to a Mental Health Patient. Here are 10 Best and Worst Things to Say to Someone With Depression
People say weird things they should not say. Such responses may be unsupportive, or worse—harmful to someone who has opened up to you. I agree that it can be tough to know the “right thing” to say to someone undergoing a mental health condition. Steer away from these statements
10 Worst Things to Say to Someone With Depression
- “It’s ok, things could be worse!”
“2. My friend has cancer, my cousin lost her job. Don’t be so gloomy. Things could actually, be worse. ”Snap out of it!”
Mental illness is not like a switch. You just cannot snap out of it.
3. “But you seem to have it all, you always look so happy!”
Depression, doesn’t check your pocket. It can affect anyone. From a beggar to a celebrity.
4.“Have you tried herbal tea?”
People may be trying to help but they are clueless that even a 100 cups of herbal tea is not going to help.
5.“This too shall pass.”
For a mental health patient, time stands still and it just doesn’t pass. It takes time, counselling or medical treatment to get over it.
6.“Try to be positive!”
Advising that one should try to be positive is improbable. It’s like asking a BP patient to just cut out salt and give up medication.
7.“Come on cheer up. I too had a panic attack when I saw my power bill.”
Anxiety about an inflated bill cannot be related to a panic attack a mental health person is going through
8.”Have you tried yoga and pranayama?”
Yes, yoga does help but it’s not a cure for depression.
9. “Are you OK?!”
One is forced to say I am fine even if you feel miserable.
10.“Tomorrow is another day, all will be well” or Cheer up
For a mental health patient, every minute is an ordeal and they knew that it’s not going to change overnight.
One should always say supportive things to help your loved one feel accepted and valued as they traverse their mental health problems. It is best to follow and support rather than lead and advice.
10 Best and Worst Things to Say to Someone With Depression
What do you need to do?
- Lend an ear. Most mentally ill patients want to be listened to. It is healing actually. It could be silent listening or the right supportive words.
- Empathy. Even if you do not understand exactly what the mental health patient is going through, try to put yourself in their shoes to understand how they feel.
- Companionship. Most need to be seen, heard and be given company if they are alone. Knowing he/she is not alone changes everything.
What to say to someone with a mental health condition?
- “Talk to me. I’m listening.”
- “Would you like to share what you’re going through?”
- “Have you discussed how you are feeling with your doctor or therapist?”
- “You have all my support.”
- “What can I do to help you?”
- “Don’t worry, you’re going to get through it.”
- “You are not alone. I am there for you.”
- “You are important and precious to me.”
- “I think you are worthy and deserving.”
- “You don’t have to apologize.”
Just by telling them they don’t need to apologize shows them that you accept them with their illness. And understand that it is beyond of their control.
We usually feel helpless when confronted with other people’s problems that we are unable to fix. There is no need to feel ashamed if you think you don’t know how to respond. It’s always better to be around than to avoid someone out of fear. Just remember that your company counts, because knowing we’re not alone makes a ton of difference.
It’s essential to be prepared for the next time, your friend or family needs you. Be attuned to say something useful to anyone Here are a few things to say that can be useful for most people suffering with a mental health.
‘This post is part of Blogchatter’s CauseAChatter
Do read other blogs on depression-Complementary and alternative therapies for depression, Empathy and Mental Health are interlinked and Postpartum depression-Imprint on my life.
Really liked what you said about asking ‘tell me how I can help.’ It’s the best way of showing support.
Thank you, Suchita. I go through this all the time so I know what it is like.
Empathy and companionship are the most vital aspects if someone needs help. You have pointed out everything so beautifully!
Thank you, Chinmayee..it is first hand experience